Thursday, May 8, 2008

URBAN JUSTICE: 4.0 out of 5 stars

The Segal you remember from the 90's is back only this time he's brought his Michael Myers hair and 75 extra pounds!, December 6, 2007

Steven Segal is back with Urban Justice. You've never heard of it? How could that be? The premier was a hit. It was held at Segal's apartment and had many special guests: Papa John, Burger King, Mr. Goodbar, and of course as much alcohol needed to drown the sorrows of a 285 pound former star whose latest film was a straight-to-DVD release. But don't let Segal's fall from stardom and rise in the world of competitive eating fool you, Urban Justice was a winner.

It also featured comedy legend Eddie Griffin in his funniest role yet. Only he didn't know that. Sid loves the direction in which this dynamic duo is moving. They seem to be irrevocably linked. Sid can picture it: a few weeks from now he'll have lunch at his local Popye's. Only the food will be a little undercooked. So, he strolls up to the counter to complain. He'll say, "Oh, hi Eddie Griffin. I loved you in Urban Justice, but my chicken was subpar." Eddie, of course wanting to do well at his new career, replies, "I'm sorry to hear that, Sid. Let me ask my cook, Steven Segal what went wrong." Let's just put it this way: this is the kind of scenario you will come up with while pondering the careers of the stars of this flick during your viewing. That's the kind of movie we're dealing with. Sid wouldn't have it any other way.

Segal goes to "da hood" in LA to find his son's killer. He talks like a grizzled street vet from day one, dropping words from his sentences at an alarming rate. We couldn't figure out if he was trying to fit into the hood or if he forgot lines due the oh-so-distracting McDonalds they filmed near. But, as usual, he was snatching guns and snapping necks left and right, only the film quality was a little different that we're used to. Low budget? Well, yes, but that's not what it was. You ask a 285 pound senior citizen to move as fast as he can and see what happens. It's like waiting for Arnold to finish a sentence. You know it will happen, it just might take a while.

These are just a few of the wonderful things that make Urban Justice a great Unintentional Comedy. It's a must-see. That's straight from us, Sid the Elf, everyone. You will freaking love it. Oh yeah oh yeah oh oh oh oh yeah oh yeah. Laugh Out Loud.

Click here for movie trailer:

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