Sunday, May 18, 2008

LEPRECHAUN 3: 3.0 out of 5 stars

Anytime Sid the Elf's Irish cousin stars in a movie, Sid reviews it. That's the rule.,
March 21, 2008

Leprechaun 3 was a last minute choice by your pal, Sid the Elf. The greatest reviewer of b since the great Joe Bob Briggs, Sid was all set to pop in a Norris flick. But, then we decided to embrace our elf brethren in honor of St. Patty's day. Actually, there are a few tie-ins here. It is an absolute certainty that this flick was shown on Joe Bob's drive-in theatre. Many times. And Irish Sid took a cue from the b legend Chuck Norris himself. This little guy was kicking butt at an obscene amount. Sid was not exactly what you would call sharp during his viewing of Leprechaun 3, but we swore we heard Irish Sid say "I don't need a weapon, I am one" at one point.

This is in the all-time pantheon of late night cable movies because it had no plot at all. So, you could be watching the flick and flipping between like 3 other things at the same time and not miss a thing. You would catch Irish Sid doing something cool, like when he bit off the Indian pawn shop owner's ear then said, "Mmm, I like Indian food. So spicy!" Oh boy! That's genuine b. Then you could watch something else for 15 or 20 min, come back and not be confused because there was absolutely nothing going on except the leprechaun running around like a little nutcase. Perfect for what it is.

But, and we know this might seem strange coming from Sid, this one might have actually been a little too b for its own good. Just hear us out. They knew this movie was going to be terrible from the jump, that's when you start to see all those one-liners. Somehow though, it kind of works coming from an elf. He was actually the bright spot in the flick. They are God's little punchlines. And the chick was stacked so that's always good. Also, the main character, Scott was classic. He was the puniest, lamest, wimpiest geek! Anyone who got a "Rowsdower!" anytime he appeared on screen is going to get a baster up from Sid. That's all the good. Here's what killed the movie: there were no actors to hang your hat on. At least Jack Klompus was in 2. And Derrick Morris, Jennifer Aniston, and Larry were in the first one. There wasn't even anybody that could be pegged with the classic Dom Cruise, Sal Pachino type joke in Leprechaun 3. This is absolutely essential to a hilarious b viewing. The only candidate was the magician, who Sid commented might be Jimmy Baio. Only this guy wasn't funny. His acting was so bad that he couldn't be made fun of, it would have been too obvious. It was the acting equivalent of curling up in the fetal position to avoid being attacked by a grizzly bear. And the other reason this guy wasn't funny? It turns out he actually was Jimmy Baio. Just sucked the enjoyment right out of the flick.

One last thing Sid didn't mention, this was supposed to be horror. Again it tried to be more funny than scary which is a cardinal sin for a horror flick. The only thing that inspires fear about Leprechaun 3 is that you know there's a Leprechaun 4. And the premise of that one? Leprechaun in space. Read that again. The possibilities are endless. Look for a Sid review on that one in the near future.
Click here for movie trailer:

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