Thursday, October 2, 2008

Under Siege 2: Dark Territory: 5 out of 5 stars

Instead of wearing an apron that says "Kiss the Cook," Seagal's says "Kiss the Rings B***h."- October 2,2008

For several months we have been searching every video store in hopes of finding Under Siege 2: Dark Territory, only to come up short time and time again. We even checked every $5 bin with exhaustion. The only thing we could come across was Under Siege which we have already watched/reviewed/loved but never it's b counterpart #2. So this past Sunday after a nice day of NFL action half of Sid was poking around his local blockbuster when something magnificent happend. Looking through some videos for sale revealed a copy of Under Siege 2 for the glorious price of $3.99. Just looking at the cover gives you the feeling that you're in for some of the finest action b you will ever grace your eyes upon. You have Seagal who is hanging from a moving train with one hand, his piece in the other, and all the rear cars on fire some a sweet explosion. The only thing that could have made the cover better was if you had a zombie Busey (since he died in the first one) hanging on behind Seagal. But since we didn't have a horror-action here that wasn't in the cards.
Our story picks up with now retired Navy chef Casey Ryback working as a cook at the Mile High Cafe in Denver Colorado ($100 says Seagal begged the producers to call it the Mile High Club). Ryback has decided he wants to take his niece Sarah (Katherine Heigl) on a little vacation to LA which she doesn't seem happy about at all. Instead of being happy to spend some time with uncle Seagal she's pissed because he and her father hadn't talked in years. He gives her some song and dance and all of a sudden she loves him again. Within a 2 minute span she goes from hating him to hugging him saying how happy she is to see him. Typical woman. Now that all is well in the Ryback family they hop aboard the train to meet their uncle Tom porter Bobby Zachs (Morris Chestnut) who has the hots for Sarah. That however soon changed when he tries to make a move on her and she grabs his hand flipping him over in quite the hilarious scene. She says she learned her sweet ninja moves from her uncle as the movie takes b to new heights. From the non stop corny dialogue within the first 20 minutes the film was already up to 2 stars.

Once the train gets moving we see a couple shady characters that you knew would be the hijackers. Travis Dane and his crew stand up with their guns and alert everyone they are taking control of the train. Who hijackes a train? We're pretty sure the last time a train was hijacked or robbed was in the 1920's, but Dane must be a man of tradition. We soon find out that 2 of the passengers on the train hold the secret passwords to control a top-secret government weapon of mass destruction. He makes them cough up the codes by nearly burning their eyes out with some device, which Santa told us all about when he burst in half way through the film. Anyway, once he gets the codes he throws both of them off the moving train down the side of a mountain. Fantastic! Now Dane hacks into the government database taking conrtol of the weapon. He starts going nuts blowing up various building all over the world. In fact the scene of the destroyed industrial facility in China recycles unused footage from On Deadly Ground (1994). In On Deadly Ground, it's the burning Aegis Oil facility. Another star for reused footage.

As the choas continues they find out the universally feared Casey Ryback is on the train. They find his niece and take her hostage to lure Ryback into their clutches. Unfortunate for them Ryback is already on his way killing any of their crew in his path with help from the porter. Ryback is able to unattach part of the cart with a lot of the hostages so they won't have to witness Rybacks sureal ninja moves rendering them speechless. We have some crazy fights scenes in which Seagal hangs off the side of a mountain with 1 hand yet manages to kill 2 guys. Don't ask. And he winds up taking out every villian, saving the pentagon, and his niece. Good thing the government left the fate of the world in Seagals hands by saying "Rybacks on that train? Leave it to him."

Under Siege 2 was well worth the wait. We would give it more then 5 stars if we could. It has everything you will ever need in an action movie. Expect explosions, hilarious sped up martial arts, neck snapping, arm breakings, train jumping, borat looking villan, non stop one liners, rock scailing, knife fighting, and a ton of casualties by the hands of a semi slender pre ponytailed Seagal. If you haven't seen this one and you enjoy our reviews go and pick it up. Do it Now! You'll even get to hear Seagal say "Nobody beats me in the kitchen!"

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

NFL Week 5: J Picks

Week 4 in the NFL may have been one of the strangest in a while. The Texans near win in Jacksonville was too close for comfort, KC getting it's first win in 12 consecutive losses by beating Denver, and Gomer throwng 6 td's? That's something still making my stomach turn. It was one crazy sloppy week of football that made me really think about week 5's games. Let's go to the picks:

Kansas City (1-3) @ Carolina (3-1)

I have to say KC looked good last week. Larry Johnson finally earned that big paycheck he held out for last season, but that won't be the case this week. I mean we're talking Carolina at home here. Sex Panthers Win.

Chicago (2-2) @ Detroit (0-3)

Part of me wants to say Detroit is going to upset Chicago and get their first win of the season. But the sensible side get's all hambone style saying "What are you nuts?" And no I am not nuts so the logical choice is Chicago who looked damn good against Philly last week. Bears Win

Atlanta (2-2) @ Green Bay (2-2)

Under normal circumstances Green Bay at home is an absolute yes. When Aaron "Norris" Rodgers doesn't take one snap during Wednesday's practice I get a little concerned. This pick is conditional because if Aaron plays I take Pack 100% but if he's out then I have to say Atlanta because I'd rather have my fiance start over Matt Flynn. Falcons win (Unless Rodgers plays)

San Diego (2-2) @ Miami (1-2)

My Dolphins are coming off a well deserved bye week after bending over the New England Patriots in Week 3. That right there was enough for me. If they didn't win another game all season I'd still be happy. This week San Diego comes into town with a clean slate. They're starting to look like last years team and thats not good for the Fins. Chargers Win

Seattle (1-2) @ NY Giants (3-0)

This one should be a lopsided event but may be a bit closer then you think. Now that Burris finally decided to get back into contact with his team he can start earning his salary. Unfortunately it won't be this week since he's suspended. So that may put a couple less Td's up for the Giants but it won't affect them too much. Giants Win

Washington (3-1) @ Philadelphia (2-2)

Coming off a very impressive win against Dallas the Skins are going into Philly to face another division rival. Philly is on the flipside of things coming off a tough loss to the Bears sunday night. The Skins are not going to stay hot and will lose this week in Philly. Eagles Win

Tennessee (4-0) @ Baltimore (2-1)

Tennessee is still undefeated with Kerry Collins as the starting QB. Who would've guessed? They go up against Baltimore at home who is coming off a close Monday night loss to the Steelers. Mcgahee is said to be ok and will play this Sunday which is a must for them to get the W. I think Baltimore will come out strong to hand the Titans their first loss of the season. Ravens Win

Indianapolis (1-2) @ Houston (0-3)

Indy looks nothing like they have over the past few years. The team just looks rattled and don't think the bye week helped. Somehow I see Houston hungry for that win after falling short to the Jags in OT. This seem nuts but I see the Colts dropping to 1-3 and Houston getting a deserved home win. Texans Win

Tampa Bay (3-1) @ Denver (3-1)

This should be a decent game. Here we have Tampa whose Defense has been really good going against one of the most explosive offenses in the league. After KC handed Denver an embarrassing loss they will be fired up at home. Broncos Win

Buffalo (4-0) @ Arizona (2-2)

Kurt Warner was laughable last week against the Jets. Watching some of that game nearly put me to sleep proving Arizona is going nowhere this year. Buffalo comes in still Red Hot and doesn't look like they're dropping a game anytime soon. I feel there may be an upset here but after last week just can't possible go with the Cards. Bills Win

New England (2-1) @ San Francisco (2-2)

When you lose against a team who was 1-15 last year that has to hurt your confidence. No matter how much they say they're past it they're not. They are going up against the 49ers who will be retiring Steve Young's jersey and should be fired up. I think everyone realizes how beatable the Pats are at this point and see Frank Gore lighting up their crybaby Defense. Look's like Belichick will have to drown his miseries in a tranny prostitute from the Bay area. Break out the jumpers cables and Ipecac. 49ers Win

Cincinnati (0-4) @ Dallas (3-1)

This game is the superbowl of Charlie wide recievers. You have Owens who has started the complaining after one loss and Ocho Cinco is saying he's going to kiss the star, yet can't seem to find his way into the end zone. This will be a complete and utter blowout. Cowboys Win huge.

Pittsburg (3-1) @ Jacksonville (2-2)

Pittsburg and Jacksonville are both coming off of last minute wins. However the Steelers are down to 1 healthy running back while Willie Parker and Rashard Mendenhall are injured and have no chance of playing. This is going to be a huge problem forcing Roethlisberger to keep the ball in the air against the Jags D at home. That will be the big factor in this game. Jaguars Win

Minnesota (1-3) @ New Orleans (2-2)

Here's our Monday night event in New Orleans. Pretty sure the Saints are going to take this one pretty easily. I see Reggie Bush lighting up the Vikings D. Definately 100+ yards. Saints Win

Lone Wolf Mcquade: 4 out of 5 stars

You can't get blood out of a stone, but Chuck Norris can, Sept 30, 2008

Lone Wolf McQuade is a movie that has long been on Sid the Elf's "Movies we absolutely must review at some point" list. We knew the possibility for greatness existed because Chuck was involved and he was playing a loner rouge Texas Ranger. If that's not a recipe for success, Sid doesn't know what is. Upon learning that Chuck's co-star in the movie was David Caradine, our level of excitement went up a notch because we knew there would be some terrific B fight scene. So we finally took the oportunity to watch the flick that was a huge inspiration for Walker Texas Ranger. In fact, one-half Sid is seriously considering taking a cue from Ricky Bobby and naming one kid Lone Wolf and another McQuade. Also, to take things up a notch, we had Santa with us watching the flick, and it was so good that he stayed awake for almost the whole thing.

If there has ever been a better begining to a movie, Sid will eat his pointy elf hat. You have a group of Mexican bandits, or banditos, wreaking havoc and causing chaos on their horses even though the film is set in 1983. Anyway, the leader of the gang wore only a black vest, and he had no business not wearing a shirt. The film is set in sunny El Paso, Texas so thankfully, the gang leader's gold tooth glistened in the sun brilliantly. We cannot emphasize this enough, this guy looked like he smelled as bad as anyone has ever smelled. It ends up that these banditos kill a couple of state troopers, but the whole scene is being watched by J.J. McQuade(Norris) from the top of a hill. Obviously, a battle ensuses in which Chuck offs like 5 guys by haphazardly spraying bullets in their general direction while spinning around. Breathtaking. Later, Chuck's captain attemps to pair him up with a young but talented cop named Kayo. We said it even before Norris could, "Chuck works alone." Then we get a glimpse into McQuade's personal life. We see McQuade's shack and his pet wolf. The house is deplorable. It looks like a tornado hit it and the fridge is stocked with nothing but brew. Well done, Chuck. Then we get to see Norris take some target practice on homemade targets. Trust us, this was hilarious. He has an ex-wife and a daughter who is dating a swell guy who thinks McQuade is the tops. McQuades daughter and her boyfriend are not doing anything parked in a car atop a hill when they see an Army cargo convoy being hijacked. Somebody sees them and pushes the car down the hill, killing the boyfriend and injuring the daughter. Bad move, guys. Now McQuade is going to track you down and make you wish you were never born.

McQuade employs the help of Kayo and Federal agent Jackson, played by A.C. Green and his fro/mullett, to track down the hijackers who injured his daughter. McQuade's trail leads him to Rawley Wilkes(Caradine) and Lola Richardson, the woman Wilkes is trying to uncork. However, she takes one look at Chuck and says "Why have hamburger when you can have fillet mignon, I want Chuck and his excessive body hair. I want him to give me a light rash." We've seen that Chuck can kick butt like none other. Now we get to see Caradine put on a martial arts display at a county fair. And it was pretty good. You just know there's a showdown coming. McQuade meets up with Wilkes's sidekick, an elf. That's right, Wilkes's right hand man was a cunning wise-cracking motorized wheelchair-riding brethern of Sid himself. McQuade gets a bit of info about Wilkes' operations and decides to take him down. But, Wilkes is onto McQuade and decides to attack him first. He kidnaps McQuade's daughter and Lola and shoots McQuade's pet wolf. This sends McQuade into a frenzy and he goes with his two helpers to Wilkes's compound. For perhaps the only time in his life, Chuck gets a beatdown by Wilkes' henchmen. They put McQuade in his souped up SUV and bury him alive in the vehicle. McQuade regains consciousness and realizes the situation. Of course he floores the pedal and drives out of the dirt, what else did you expect?

So now it's time for the inevitable McQuade-Wilkes showdown. Lets look at the tale of the tape: McQuade just drove out of being buried alive and energized himslef with a beer, Wilkes just kidnapped two women and shot a pet wolf. Advantage McQuade. McQuade is wearing a sleeveless Army vest with no shirt unerneath, Wilkes is wearing a completely queer white Argyll sweater. Huge advantage McQuade. That's really all you need to know. After getting his butt kicked for a couple minutes, McQuade rallied and whooped Wilkes to a pulp. Chuck never has and never will lose a fight. That's the rule.

We couldn't imagine a better result from a spur of the moment choice to watch Lone Wolf McQuade. It has everything we could ask for. A Santa viewing with tons of borderline disturbing commentary absolutely not suitable for print, Norris and his obscene ammount of chest/shoulder hair, a hot chick, a great villain, a gang of banditos with a perfect leader, a crossbow, and most importantly an elf with a prominent role. The only reason this film got only 4 stars from us is the lag in the middle of the film. Despite this, we can't recomend this film strongly enough. It is an absolute must for Chuck fans, and for those who appreciate a true B Action

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Fear: 2 out of 5 stars

Morty Seinfeld, he's a bum, Sept 30, 2008

As October rapidly approaches it seems a no brainer to continue on the path of b horror, which we and so many others love. This week's film The Fear has been on our radar for quite some time but hasn't been acted upon until we recently purchased it as part of a four pack for $9. So that means this one individually cost $2.25 which still may be a bit too steep. Roughly 12 years ago was the first time we saw the film and couldn't recall much except for how bad it was. Now you may ask, if it's so bad why would you want to watch it again? The logic behind that is when we first saw the film we were kids looking to be legitimately scared. Now instead of looking for scares we seek laughter from the horrible acting and confusing plots. Thats the art of b and the reason we label these films as "unintentional comedies." Under these guidelines you can extract good out of the worst movies ever made providing a very enjoyable viewing experience. The Fear had to fall into this category or couldn't be viewed without slipping into a coma.

The film starts off with psychology student Richard (Eddie Bowz) who has these recurring nightmares from his childhood, but can't seem to figure out their meaning or why they scare him so much. In these dreams he's walking around in the woods where he see's two masked men burying somebody. With this constantly on his mind he decides he'd like to spice up his thesis by running an experiment on a group of people to make them face their darkest fears at his remote childhood cabin in the middle of the woods. He presents this idea to his professor Dr. Arnold (Wes Craven) who approves of the experiment and arranges the weekend trip. Now Richard, who looks like his life ambition was to land a spot on Melrose Place, rounds up this group consisting of his girlfriend Ashley, his friend (Troy) who is under the impression he's black despite his white exterior, Troy's sister Leslie, an actual black guy, and two other forgettable characters. They all hit the road and make their way to the cabin except for Dr. Arnold (Craven), who runs off the movie set screaming I'm a millionare why the hell did I show up for this.

Upon arrival at the cabin we get introduced to our favorite character Uncle Pete who is drunk out of his mind and dressed up like Santa Claus. It seems that Uncle Pete, who owns a tourist Christmas village, still lives where fruity Richard grew up and just happened to drop by this abandoned cabin at the same time his nephew was there. Now you'd think Richard would be happy to see the jolly Uncle Pete but it's quite the contrary. He tells Pete and his slutty young girlfriend they have to beat it because he has to run a very serious yet very b experiment. After Pete and his grilfriend pleed to stay he figures they can be used in the experiment also. Once they get inside the cabin Richard whips out his old friend Morty, who is a large wooden dummy we assume he did some questionable things with. They try to play some creepy music to set the mood but it does nothing. He explains to start the experiment Morty will be placed in a chair and each person will sit in front of the wooden dummy and give an account of their worst fears. Yeah it's much more hilarious when you're watching it. As each person goes the film hits new hieghts of boredom. You sit through this group of losers talk about their fears like they're on Dr. Phil's show in hopes Morty will get up and start knocking everyone off, especially Troy. Out of all the fears non were more pathetic then the homeboy Troy's. We were hoping he would say his biggest fear is coming to terms with the fact that he's white but instead he says bees. Bees, are you kidding? What are you a four year old? No wonder this movie cost less then a large coffee.

As we painfully continue the film turns into a soap opera where everyone exposes their inmost fears. The strangest part came a few minutes later when Troy's sister stepped up to the plate. Apparently she left Troy when he was young which seems to hurt yet turn him on because later he tries to make out with her. It was almost a love scene which was a bit more then uneasy to watch. We didn't know what the hell was going on and would never find out because the situation was never explained. There was just this strange sexual tension between the two. Finally after about a 30 minute stretch of nothing Morty comes to life. Hilarious! We came to the conclusion the he looked like Robin Williams in Bicentenial Man. That was the ongoing joke that kept us going. Once they realize he's allive it turns into somewhat of a slaher film only much more b. He chases them around Uncle Petes tourist village called Santas playhouse, lawsuit is pending, and picks off some of the group. One by one each peson gets it as they run aimlessly through the woods by the cabin. As Richard tries to escape he runs in the cabin and finds uncle Pete drunk again. They start fighting and Pete reveals the secret to why Richard's afraid of Morty. It's because when Richard was young he caught his mom cheating on his dad and ratted her out. Then Dad and Uncle Pete wacked her and buried her in the woods telling him if he ever told anyone then Morty would kill him. Somehow Richard forgot all about his tramatic childhood and now understands the nightmares. So gay! After this Richards confronts Morty to tell him he's no longer afriad. Morty's only response is to freeze up then turn around and walk into the lake. Why the lake? We have no idea. They wrap up this mess by showing a soccer ball rolling down a hill with a kid chasing it. The ball stops at the feet of our wooden friend Morty who apparently got done swimming and wanted to take a stroll through the woods. The kid stops and stares at Morty as he gently kicks the ball to him. It appears Morty changed his murderous puppet ways and will possible get a job working at the local ihop.

All in all this one was still pretty much as bad as we remembered. It was so far from scary but that wasn't our intent anyway. We were looking to Morty for some hilarious b but didn't even get that. The only reason we were generous enough to give this one 2 stars was for the sheer fact that homeboy Troy got killed and all the jokes were were able to make from Richard's turtle necks. Every scene this guy had a new turtle neck on which kept us cracking up. The funniest part was realizing these actors thought this was their big break. Not sure how much glory can come from a straight to video where the star is a man with no lines playing a wooden puppet. Well hope they won't be in the sequal which we'll be reviewing in the near future.

Click here for movie trailer:

Monday, September 29, 2008

Deep from inside the Vault

Every now and then we decide to give the world a peek into some of our favorite past times. Usually they consist of cool clips, funny stories, or something hilarious to us which most may not understand. This clip is something that everyone can enjoy. It's from Tales From the Darkside which was a huge favorite during our childhood. This episode is called "Inside the Closet" or the loli pop monster if you're Santa.

Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Week 4 M Picks

One half- Sid had a wonderful week last week, and the other one suffered miserably. With our respective teams, that is. We are both still rocking out the picks and are in a tight race with a difference of just one win. And away we go.

Buffalo (-8) at St. Louis

The Bills are one of the two biggest surprise teams of the young season along with the Titans, but they barely squeeked by an atrocious, dysfunctional Raiders team last week. The oddsmakers have the Bills favored by 8 mainly because the Rams offense is shallow and pedantic. They reached the opponents' red zone for the first time this season in the 4th quarter of last week's game. Pretty pathetic. So what do the Rams do? Bench one of their only players on offense worth anything, Marc Bulger, in favor of Trent "Scrambled Eggs" Green. Green is following the longtime Sid the Elf belief that if you end up on the same team you started with after multiple stops in between, you're undeniably B. With that said, I'm taking the Bills giving 8.

Atlanta (+7) at Carolina

These are two teams that are very tough to read so far. They're both 2-1. The Falcons have beat up on the league's weakest teams, K.C., and the Lions. The Panthers started out 2-0 against good teams(Chi. and Denver) before crapping the bed against the Vikings, or the V-men as I like to call them, last week. I like the Panthers to get the W here, but not to cover the 7.

Philadelphia (-3) at Chicago

I'm prepared for anything in this game. I can see a close old-school tough game. And I can also see McNabb, playing in his home town, zipping passes all over the field and pulling his it's going to take 8 guys to bring me down routine. The funniest scenario i can envision is Kyle Orton getting sacked like 6 times and throwing 3 picks in the first quarter. Then Orton goes over to the sideline and hands the QB duties over tho Rex Grossman in a "you're all right, LaRusso" moment and walks off to begin his lumberjacking carreer. So, yeah, Eagles.

Cleveland(+3 1/2) at Cincinnati

I loved the fight the Bengals showed last week. The Browns haven't shown anything since last year, and now they have a QB controversy, exemplified by the fact that Romeo Crennell named his starter the starter. Makes sense, right? Anyway, I like the Bengals giving the points in this one.

Washington (+11) at Dallas

The Cowboys looked absolutely unstoppable in Green Bay last Sunday. They ran through one of the league's better defenses like they were playing "rookie" Madden with LT as the RB. The Pack decided to shut down the homoerotic Tony Homo-to- T.O. combo, and let everyone else beat them. Well, they shut down Ace and Gary, and everyone else didn't just beat them, they destroyed them. Miles freakin Austin from Monmouth(not exactly a football powerhouse about 30 min. from the North Pole) had 2 HUGE catches. And Marian the Barbarian didn't have a run for less than 4 all night, or so it seemed. Then, as a change of pace, they bring in Felix Jones and his "running from the cops" world-class speed and he pops off a 60 yard TD run. Basically, the Boys are really really good. If they don't win it all this year, it will be because of an injury or a coaching blunder by Jigglers Phillips. Needless to say, I like them to win this week. But not by 11. Washington is a good team, and division rivalries are always tricky and usually close games.

Denver (-9) at Kansas City

The line could be 49 and I'd probably still bet the Broncos, so yeah I'm taking the Cutler Crew.

Houston (+7 1/2) at Jacksonville

The Jags finally got a W last week at Indy. Big win, they needed it. Houston stinks, but we knew that. I like the Jags in a big way in this one.

San Fransisco (+5 1/2) at New Orleans

The Saints have had a tough schedule so far and they're 1-2. But, I like they way they handle themselves. They lost heartbreakers to Denver and the Redskins. The Niners are 2-1, but have yet to play a decent team unless you buy the Cardinals as a decent team. I like the Saints and the points.

Arizona (-1 1/2) at NY Jets

The Jets looked like an Arena team Monday Night in San Diego, seriously. Brett Favre should have had about 32 picks in the first half alone. He has zero chemistry with his receivers. It's sad to watch. But I can't believe the Cards are good, I just can't. I like the Jets as home dogs Sunday.

San Diego (-7 1/2) at Oakland

Are the Chargers back on track? Well, I think so. But I'm pretty sure San Diego State would be favored by a TD against the Raiders. Chargers big.

Green Bay (+1) at Tampa Bay

The Bucs got a big W in Chicago last week. The Pack--good Lord. They gave me a stroke at least 5 different times on Sunday Night so I don't even know what to make of them at this point. The D was as bad as I've seen from them in 2 years. They got manhandled. And they lost 3--yeah 3--starters in the secondary in the Dallas game. The only starter to finish last week's game was Charles Woodson, playing on a broken toe. He litterally limped out of the huddle to cover T.O.--and they insisted on showing it at least once a series. I can't speak for other Packer fans, but I thought that was a great feeling, seeing your corner limp over to cover the best receiver in the league. Especially when your team plays a ton of man coverage. Needless to say, I haven't quite gotten over last Sunday Night yet. And the Pack might not either. Al Harris ruptured his spleen coliding with A.J. Hawk against Dallas. He might be out for the year. Unless someone, like Tramon Williams, can step up HUGE the Pack is in trouble. Maybe they'll be ok. For the sake of my sanity, I'm going with the Pack.

Minnesota (+3) at Tennessee

Two great defenses, two not so great offenses. These appear to be pretty equal teams, except for the fact that the Titans are able to just win games when they're not playing particularly well. These are the teams you want to ride. I'm going Titans.

Baltimore (+5 1/2) at Pittsburgh

Did anyone see what the Eagles D did to the Steelers last week? Not pretty. And has anyone heard how the Raven D is rejuvinated as the've allowed 10 points in both their games so far? You know where it's going. I'm taking the Ravens.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

NFL WEEK 4 J picks

Week 4 in the NFL is approaching fast while the season begins to get more interesting. Unlike years before, the teams who dominated are at the bottom of the barrel while teams like Buffalo & the Ravens are on the rise. This weeks pics seemed pretty simple but we'll see what happens.

Minnesota (1-2) @ Tennessee (3-0)

Home against the Tennessee defense is not somewhere the Vikings are going to want to be. Titans Win

San Francisco (2-1) @ New Orleans (1-2)

San Fran has looked pretty impressive but the Saints at home are in no way going to drop to 1-3. They need this game and will take it. Saints Win

Green Bay (2-1) @ Tampa Bay (2-1)

After a really rough week 3 the Pack heads into Tampa to play the Bucs at home. The news of Al Harris going down for the year is a definate worry for the defense but I still think theres enough talent there to stop the Bucs. Pack Wins

Houston (1-2) @ Jacksonville (1-2)

Two 1-2 teams but nowhere near the same. I have a strange feeling that Houston may pull this one out but I'm not confident enough to pick against the Jags at home. Jaguars Win

San Diego (1-2) @ Oakland (1-2)

After last weeks destruction of the Jets the Chargers looked back to normal. This week they take out Oakland no problemo. Chargers Win

Washington (2-1) @ Dallas (3-0)

Yeah...Dallas Wins, BIG

Denver(3-0) @ Kansas City (0-3)

The way Denver is rolling they should have an easy week in Kansas City. Cheifs fall to 0-4. Broncos Win

Arizona (2-1) @ Jets (1-2)

Both teams took a pretty good beating last week but the Jets are more dejected over the loss. This will be the battle of the retirement home quarterbacks with Warner taking home the W. Jets eat it, Cardinals Win.

Atlanta (2-1) @ Carolina (2-1)

Atlanta comes into Carolina off a nice win while the Panthers came off a rough loss. It will be a close game but the Carolina should get the W, but won't cover the +5 spread. Panthers Win

Cleveland (0-3) @ Cincinnati (0-3)

This game should be decent since both teams are so horrible. I think the lesser of the 2 is Cincinnati. After seeing the look on Palmer's face after last weeks hard loss there isn't much good to come for the Bengals. Browns Win

Buffalo (3-0) @ St. Louis (0-3)

Red hot Buffalo heads to cold as ice St Louis. This week will be no different. Bills Win

Philadelphia (2-1) @ Chicag0 (1-2)

The Way Philadelphia is looking theres no way Chicago wins. Eagles Win

Baltimore (2-0) @ Pittsburg (2-1)

Pittsburg's offense was dominated by the Eagles D last week. Now they face off against the amped up Ravens while Willie Parker is out. Now Crazy Ray can focus more on Roethlisberger who already isn't 100 %/ Ravens Win