Saturday, September 6, 2008

Grim: 3 out of 5 stars

It's great to see that the SE crew from Journey to the West does horror films now, September 6, 2008

Lately we have been getting so much enjoyment from our golden era of b. The 90's packed in so many b horrors that they've given us enough to watch and review for the next few years. The beauty behind these films is all the effort they put in to them with the result being a straight to video release. It's just amazing. You have a group of the most talentless humans fighting to make their big deput by doing a film destined for the five dollar bin, much like tonights entry. Grim is such as disaster it's almost hard to believe it actually exists. The tagline for this one is "This ain't no fairytale" but we decided to change it to "This ain't no movie."

We start off with a few friends playing around on a ouija board. There is no explanation to what they are actually doing but somehow they unlease a hilarious looking creature who was set in stone for centuries. The one girl appears to be possesed by the creature Grim once her eyes light up red in the first of many obsurd special effects attempts. Once possesd we sees some pink line appear on the floor then Grim pops out dragging the girl underneath the floor deep into his cavern. Whenever Grim comes to take someone there is always a pink line he comes through and they make him look wavy like it's a screen saver. These are effects that are so bad they must been seen to be believed. Possibly the worst SE ever!

So after this opening scene we cut straight to a group of the most unrealistic spelunkers as they get ready for a little caving expidition. Despite the fact that this film was made in 1995 these people look like they were living in 83. The leader of the caving mission is some guy named Rob who kind of looks like the weazel guy Eric from Billy Madison. He has an ultra tough attitude and throws ongoing comments at one of the other spelunkers in some fantastic banter. The rest of the crew look like simple folks from the suburbs and have no redeeming value. In fact you are just dying to see them get devoured by Grim. As they make their way down into the styrofoam cave that the directors 11 year old son made as a science fair project, it becomes quite apparent it's just going to get worse and worse. They are poking around while Grim stalks in the shadows. It's really interesting how graceful Grim is for a 450 lb creature that growls, kills, and eats for a living. For some reason they never see him coming as he swipes one of the woman and bites her entire face off. Once her husband realizes she disappeared he goes looking for her only to run into Grim. Now everyone knows there is a creature down there and their one exit has been sealed up. As they continue to run around aimlessly they decided they must find a way out but also must destroy the creature so he won't plague this small hick town with his b killing spree. While searching they come across a body of water and camp out there to devise a plan until Grim jumps out of the water in similar form to and elf out of a stocking. He takes a couple more lives leaving only 3 morons who manage to temporarily take him down by lighting dynamite which collapses part of the cave on him. For some reason the debris only harms Grim as the 3 go running off to find their exit. Once they find their exit Grim comes bashing throught the wall only to be haulted by a flashlight. Apparently the big guy hates lights which makes them realize if they can position him under a hole in the cave when the sun comes up it will shine on him turning him to stone. They accomplish the task and get out of there to leave Grim in a rock like state. We can only hope for a sequal sometime in the near future.

To sum this one up is simple, it's terrible. However it's the type of terrible that pleases us who love the B genre. The special effects, horrible acting, and confusing plot will leave you speachless. If anyone could get an honorable mention in this one it'd have to be Grim. Even though he couldn't speak he was by far the best actor. Plus he chomped peoples heads off which is always fun.

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