Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Friday the 13th, part 3: 2.0 out of 5 stars

Check In the Barn for a fat killer with a limp,
August 4, 2007

Ok, we, Sid the Elf, know that Jason is a popular figure in the horror genre. And we do love the horror genre. However, Jason really is quite dumb when you look at these movies objectively. This crap can't decide if its B or not. That should never be a question. If its us, we're going B all the way. Instead of giving Jason that dumb limp, why not have him hop merrily from one foot to the other while chasing down his victims? The thing that made this one ridiculous was that the plot was predictable and there weren't any of those "how did they get to this point?" moments. A distinctly non-B characteristic! Anyway, the only reason we decided on this one was because we remembered watching it years ago and marveling at the fact that these idiots kept going into the barn to get killed. They all looked like cows being led to slaughter. It would have been a 5-star effort if Jason was waiting in the barn, jumped out of a giant stocking, then killed. But, he didn't. That's why all these nerds loved it. The only saving grace was the fat kid. We couldn't wait for him to get offed, only they should have had the guy who looked like DMX do it with his giant chain. So, don't listen to the dorks that say this movie is good. Sid the Elf has never steered you wrong before, so stay away unless you want to turn into one of these people who watched this one in their mother's basement eating a whole bag of cookies and loved this movie.

Click here for movie trailer:

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