Deep Inside the Vault

This little clip is to honor one of Sid's all time favorites games Mike Tyson's Punchout. This was before Iron Mikes super terrific breakdown where he went chomping off opponents ears. At this point he was the balls of boxing and had one of the sweetest NES games based around him. This clip gives props to some fat nerd taking him out in the 3rd round. I suspect he used that game genie thing for some assistance but it's still a cool clip. Well unless you're only like 17, then you have no idea why this is so entertaining.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5Vk0LFvj2Y&feature=related

B Movie Clip of the Week

Isn't everyone just a little creeped out by clowns? It's just not normal to get all that satisfaction out of making balloon animals for bratty kids who kick you in the shins all day long. When you see them strutting around with that huge smile you just know these are the people who most likely have a family in their freezer. That is why this weeks pic is the 1988 horror Clownhouse. Sid saw it at a young age an was pretty freaked out by it. Not sure if it will stand the test of time but we will probably let you know in the near future.

http://videodetective.com/titledetails.aspx?publishedid=551

Great B News! A sequal to Gingerdead man has been made

Sid has just been blown away after reading an article on Full Moons website stating Gingerdead man 2 will be released straight to video on July 8th (lucky us). Judging by the trailer I think we are in for something special. It appears to be equal to the writing and special effects of Wicked Games. This one is so bad that they couldn't even pull totally insane washed up Gary Buesy to do the gingerdead man's voice for the sequal. You can expect a Sid review within the next month or two, but for now here is the stunningly bad trailer.

http://www.joblo.com/video/arrow/player.php?video=ginger2

You Remeber These: Men at Work

While crusing around this Sunday afternoon a hilarious song came on the radio which immediately brought me back to the year 1994. The song was "You can dance if you want to" by Men at Work, the show was beavis and butthead, and the memory is still burned in my brain to this day. Sid was at a very young age and enjoying the usual Saturday night containing many 7-11 trips, a lot of b, and beavis and butthead from 11-12 then repeating at 2-3. This particular night was when the boys had this Men at Work video on and Sid loved it. It was so hilarious that at one point orange soda was spewed all over the carpet and went down in our long history of good times. What now makes this song so great is the freaking elf doing the ralphus dance through the whole video. It's just so good that Sid must share it with the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcOZ6xFxJqg

B Movie Clip of the Week

Being that Sid is quite the festive fellow it's only right to bring you an action clip in honor of the upcoming 4th of July celebration aka It's a celebration bitch! This one is something else. Within the first 10 seconds you will see a member of the world renown Death Ring Alumni sporting a heathly Chuck Norris style mullet. It always goes down smooth. It is known as Hard Vice and was brought to you by A-Pix, the same company to grace the B world with such films as Jack Frost 1&2. It stars Shannon Tweed, an old favorite of Sid's childhood, and promises to deliver terrible acting, foul language, and plenty of nudity. Happy Times.

http://www.videodetective.com/titledetails.aspx?PublishedID=215359

ROSEMARY'S DOES IT HURT BABY: 1 out of 5 stars

Sid is renaming this one. It's now Rosemary's Does It Hurt Baby, July 2, 2008

Is Rosemary's Baby a horror classic? Well, conventional wisdom says yes, without a doubt. It was made in 1968, placing it in the early stages of horror prominence. And, certainly, it was more difficult to make a horror film back then. Remember, this was before somebody said "You know what? I really don't need a plot here. I'll just have a killer run around after people for an hour and a half." So, this film had to have a plot, which it did. But it wasn't anything special. The number of scares in the 2+ hours: Um, roughly, ZERO. If you have no idea what the movie is about going in, you think it's a story about a young couple and the bad food they eat all the time until the satanic love scene of course. While we're here: Bad job by Satan there. He left scratches all over Rosemary! You gotta be a little more gentle in that situation. No wonder why she started to get turned off of the whole project.

The film is centered around a young couple, Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse(great porn names)who have just moved to Manhattan. They get this place that is ubercreepy and they're even warned BY THEIR REALTOR about the sketchy history of the place. But, yeah, they'll take it. Good call, Woodhouses. Guy is a struggling actor who wants to succeed. He becomes extremely close with the old couple upstairs, even foregoing a sexy a time with an eager 1968 Mia Farrow to hang out with the old man. Anyway, the Woodhouses are given some chocolate mousse by the old lady. Rosemary's is laced with something and it gets Rosemary all messed up. She doesn't eat all of it though, so she's just kinda half in the bag instead of all the way gone. So, Guy takes her to the old couple's place where Satan has his way with Rosemary in an obviously disturbing ritual. It's here that you see that the old couple and Guy are actually part of some sicko club. So, now Rosemary's pregnant. But, she thinks it was Guy that made it with her when she was passed out. I guess that was acceptable back then. She is then persuaded to choose Mr. Morris from Pretty Woman as a doctor over Charles Grodin. Bad call. The doctor makes her drink the shakes the old lady makes her everyday. He says no pre-natal vitamins or anything. And it takes her like 8 1/2 months to want a second opinion.

So, Guy is now a successful actor now that his chief rival has been stricken blind. It's obvious by now that he has literally made a deal with the devil. He traded his first born son for a good career of Broadway acting, a third-round draft pick and future considerations. How did this work? Was there a negotiation process? While we're here is Satan the New England Patriots GM? And the old people, the doctor, and seemingly half of New York are witches. They take the baby from Rosemary after telling her he was stillborn. She finally knows what's going on and goes to the old couple's apartment to find her demon child in a black draped crib with an upside-down cross mobile($11.99 at Babies-R-Us). She's immediately horrified, then recovers quickly to rock the demon-child to sleep. Talk about resiliency. The credits roll and you immediately want the 2+ hours of your life back.

Maybe this movie was scary in 1968, Sid doesn't know. If it was, then it holds up remarkably badly over time. There were roughly 85 missed chances to make the movie actually scary, and about the same number of times Sid said "When is something going to HAPPEN in this stupid movie?" It just moved so slowly. They could have shaved at least 30 minutes off of the film. Was it an innovative and different film? I guess, for its time. Was it one of the best horror films of all-time? No it is not true. The best part of this film was making fun of it. The number of jokes on this one was through the roof. That's the only reason it got the measly 1 star. But if Sid can have fun waiting in a long line for a loaf of semolina on a Sunday morning, you better believe he made this film worthwhile by cracking jokes. You had the go-to, "Wow, the guy from the Dirty Dozen is all over Mia Farrow. I bet Sinatra had him whacked out immediately after filming wrapped." And you had a five minute stretch when Grodin was in the film of nothing but jokes like "OK, Rosemary. Get into the paper gown, and nurse Beethoven will be in in a minute." And, "Grodin must have welshed on his deal with the devil." Also, of course, the old Family Guy joke: "We're playing house. Um, Roman Polanski's house." It was fun to rip this movie apart, but other than that, Sid thought it was a waste of time. Also, if this is what passes as "a horror classic," look for Sid the Elf's first horror script "Come On Down Here, Baby." to be released early in 2010. Just give us 45 minutes to write it.

Click here for movie trailer:http://www.videodetective.com/movies/ROSEMARYS_BABY/trailer/P00823330.htm

BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD DO AMERICA: 5.0 stars out of 5

Shut up dumbass! You didn't score. I scored with both of 'em, July 2, 2008

Seriously, was there a better time to be a teenager than during the Beavis and Butt-Head era? If your days consisted of making idiotic jokes with your friends, watching/making fun of tv, and eating nachos all day these guys were your heroes. In fact, Sid the Elf still think the guys rule. That's why we decided to relive a seminal moment in our adolescence: When Beavis and Butt-Head came to the big screen. Yes! We were never more excited to see a movie than this one. And, it didn't disappoint in 1996. But, Sid did an experiment to see if it would hold up today. The result..."This rules."

So, the boys' lives pretty much revolve around tv. And when they wake up from a couch nap, they discover their tv has been stolen by two hilarious looking guys by the way. Their mission, therefore, is to find a tv--any tv--and watch as much of it as they can, immediately. Could there be a better premise for this movie? They try everything. They try to steal one from their school, but they destroy it. They go into Anderson's camper, but Beavis spits soda out all over his tv and shorts it out. With nowhere else to go, they stumble into a low-crotch motel room to watch some tube. But, the room is occupied by Muddy Grimes, a tough-ass who mistakes the guys for the two hitmen Grimes has hired to kill his wife. So while Grimes is using the term "do my wife," to mean kill her, the guys think they are going to get paid to "uh, DO her. huh uh huh huh." Awesome scene. Then Grimes drives them to the airport and puts them on a plane to Vegas to find Dallas, Grimes's wife. It's here that Beavis meets the "slots" lady. She is like the key to the movie. Her scenes are wonderful. Of course, she's saying slots, talking about how many of them there are in Vegas. But Beavis thinks they're talking about sluts, just highest of high comedy. And the old lady keeps on giving. She calls the guys "Travis and Bob." Just hilarious for some reason. Then, she gives Beavis some caffeine pills and perpetuates our first Cornhollio appearance.

Beavis and Butt-Head then find Dallas Grimes. She figures them out in about 2 seconds and plants a micro-weapon on in Beavis's pants so the cops won't find it. Then she puts them on a Washington D.C. bound tour bus, promising them that they will meet up in D.C. and they will get to do her. Yes! So they get on the bus, and off the bus, and cause some damage and meet some new friends and old, including Bill Clinton at the White House. They also manage to narrowly avoid the ATF, who is after the weapon in Beavis's pants, and their cavity-search happy leader. Obviously, all ends well for the guys. The Grimesesesssses are eventually arrested, and guess what? They find their old friend, the tv sitting on the side of the road. So, they scoop it up and walk off into the sunset on their way home, calling each other names along the way.

Since there is so much going on in this movie(shockingly true), Sid will just give you a list of the highlights. First and foremost, the scene with the guys' dads must be mentioned. It is hands down the coolest and funniest scene in the movie. Beavis and Butt-Head are wandering through the desert and they happen upon two guys around a fire. These guys are the perfect embodiment of what Beavis and Butt-Head will look like in 30 years. They are former Motley Crue rodies(perfect)and they tell a story: They once hooked up with these two chicks in a dump town called Highland. Yeah, it was cool. Then the best moment of the movie happens:Beavis's dad just goes, "Yeah, yeah. Me too." And this gets him a backhand from Mr. Butt-Head(whose voice is done by Davis Letterman which is kinda cool) and a "Shut up dumbass. You didn't score, I scored with both of them." Brings the house down everytime. There's even a great youtube clip including the sequence. A must-see. Beavis goes Cornholio again, in the White House, and asks a portrait of Nixon "Are you threatening me?" And causes a panic, throwing us into Defcon 4. They manage to implicate Anderson in the theft of the weapon, and he is arrested. After a full cavity search, of course. And, they are made honorary ATF agents by Bubba. The only fitting response:"Alcohol, tobacco, and firearms? Cool." Breathtaking. Beavis and Butt-Head was really a perfect mid-90's MTV show. It appealed to teens, pre-teens, and immature 20-somethings. It was wildy popular, beyond imagination almost. So this movie had to be done. Usually, that's a recipe for disaster. And there were some questions here. Will they go all-out and use the language and everything else to earn an 'R' rating? Will they do simply an extended version of the crazy-successful tv show? Well, the answer to both is no. And, Sid believes, it was these two decisions that made the film work. The movie was PG-13, so the meat of the fan base could enjoy the hype and see the movie on the big-screen. And there was actually a pretty intricate, fast-moving, totally unbelievable storyilne. Sounds like a pretty good way to keep Beavis and Butt-Head fans out of ADD mode for 90 minutes right? If you want a stellar night of the cheapest possible laughs, pop in Beavis and Butt-Head Do America, surround yourself with plenty of snacks and enjoy not thinking for an hour and a half. Dumbass.

Click here for movie trailer, huuuh huuh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M36P8MOIGOk