Wednesday, July 23, 2008

PUMPKINHEAD 2: 5.0 out of 5 stars

Watch Pumpkinhead battle the fat kid from Charles and Charge, July 23, 2008

We, Sid the Elf, made a great choice for this week's B extravaganza. We decided on a horror B from that golden age for the genre. Pumpkinhead 2 was made in 1994. Remember, this was after Freddy and Jason lost their appeal, before the awful Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer movies, and before the terrible The Ring ripoffs we're forced to deal with now. This was the era when you had to have a killer or monster, a cop or sheriff, and a group of rowdy teens who are the killer/monster's targets. Bing, bang, boom--instant horror movie. This might sound terrible, but it wasn't. These movies are the bedrock of horror B. Some of them are even incredibly enjoyable, like Pumpkinhead 2. Although, is it possible to not enjoy a movie when it features the fat kid from Charles in Charge, the guy who was obsessed with Donna Martin and took over the CU tv station in 90210, and Bill Clinton's brother? The answer of course is no it is impossible to not enjoy such a movie.

The plot of Pumpkinhead 2 is as simple as it is ridiculous. After being summoned through an evil spell by Punky Bruster(seriously), Pumpkinhead takes over the body of a freak who was killed 30 years prior. The freak was killed by an unfathomably fruity gang called The Red Wings. Perfect. The best part about these guys is that we think they were supposed to come off as tough. And let's just say that they fell short. The son of one of the Red Wings(it's making you chuckle a little every time isn't it?)ended up being Danny, aka the guy from 90210. So now Pumpkinhead is after him and his friends Punky Brewster, the fat kid from Charles in Charge, Booger from He Got Game, and the Sheriff's daughter. How could they have not casted Punky Brewster? She was one of the writers of the film and her outstanding performance in that Saved By the Bell episode put her right over the top. Just a tour-de-force cast. And it included a cameo by Roger Clinton. Yeah, the degenerate coke dealing DUI happy half-brother of President Bill Clinton. That adds a star right there. And how does this guy not have a reality show? It would be immensely entertaining to watch this guy call his agent to check for incoming scripts, call his brother to borrow money, then contemplate swallowing a bottle of pills everyday. Then what about the times when he has to interact with Hillary? See? The possibilities are endless.

So, Sid's theory on the reason for Pumpkinhead's barrage of killings is that everyone kept screaming at him. Yeah, he looked like a dinosaur of some sort, but yelling in his face really couldn't have helped the situation. The best was when that bald hillbilly screamed at Pumpkinhead, and they felt the need to show his ugly face for like 15 seconds. I think everyone watching was thinking "Damn, shut this old hick up." And you couldn't even finish the thought because Pumpkinhead backhanded the guy so freakin hard. The guy went right through a haystack or something. By far, the best moment of the movie. It was absolutely hysterical. It got rewound 3 times, a record bested only by the famous hicks being thrown off the truck scene in Halloween 4. Eventually, the sheriff figures out that the freak is Pumpkinhead because of the markings he leaves after he ices someone. They look like lesbian seagulls, but in red, or blood wings. Get it? Oh, boy! The sheriff actually met the freak when he was a nerdy kid himself, so I guess they had some kind of rapport. This led to the improbable scene in which the sherrif reasons with Pumpkinhead, a 7 1/2 foot creature that looks kind of like a dinosaur. But I'm sure he has wonderful communication skills.

If you're a fan of B horror, Pumpkinhead 2 was made for you. It has everything you could want, well almost. It has no story, terrible acting by d-list(at the height of their fame) actors and awful special effects. This is clearly illustrated when a certain character gets decapitated by Pumpkinhead. It's the worst fake head since Death Ring. Sid absolutely loved this movie. We saw it years back, loved it then and still do. The only thing that could have made it better was if Buddy and Charles joined the fat kid in the cast. You're telling me seeing Scott Baio getting torn apart by Pumpkinhead wouldn't make you happy?
Click here for movie trailer:

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