PUMPKINHEAD 5.0 out of 5 stars

The leading cause of death among hillbillies: not heart disease or cancer, but Cityfolk, September 22, 2008

We went back to the B well once again this week with 1988's Pumpkinhead. The film was actually completed in 1987, putting it right in the middle of the Golden Era of horror B. We vaugely remember this one from our youth, and upon learning that it's original production company went belly-up before the film's release, we were absolutely excited about the project. We reviewed the sequel, Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, a few weeks ago. While the sequel failed miserably as a legitimate horror flick, it excelled in the world of unintentional comedy that Sid appreciates so much. So going into the Pumpkinhead viewing, we were hopeful that the movie would be good enough to satisfy a horror jones, and bad enough to satisfy an unquenchable B/unintentional comedy jones. This is not an easy task, but Pumpkinhead delivered.

The movie starts off with a farmer/country store owner named Ed Harley being a doting dad to his young son, Billy, who is a dead ringer for the the kid in Jerry Maguire. Later, the father and son go to their store for their day's work. Some young hotshots from the city(cityfolk) stop at the store on their way to a Crystal Lake ripoff for the weekend. At the same time, a hick family consisting of a middle-aged man named Mr. Wallace and his 85 kids and grandkids stop at the store as well. Ed Harley forgets to bring Mr. Wallace's feed to the store from home, so he has to go back to the house and leaves his 7 year old in charge of the store with a bunch of rednecks and rowdy 20-somethings roaming around. Great judgment there. For some reason, the out-of-towners decide to ride the hills near the store on their dirt bikes. The noise sends the Harleys' dog chasing after the bikes in a frenzy, with the kid following. Naturally, the kid gets killed after being barely brushed by a dirt bike. The dirt bikers flee the scene immediately. You could see that coming from a mile away. Ed is obviously crushed by the loss of his son and he wants revenge and his boy back. So he attempts to employ the help of an old nearby witch via Mr. Wallace. Upon seeing the dead boy in Ed's truck, Mr. Wallace asks, "What killed him?" To this, Ed replied, naturally, "Cityfolk." Just priceless. One of the highlights of the film, really.

Ed Harley is eventually brought to the witch by a Wallace kid. She takes some blood from Billy and Ed and instructs Ed to dig up a body buried in a pumpkin patch. Ed brings the body back to the witch and she does some black magic, midnight, evil stuff. The result is Pumpkinhead. Even though the rest of the film is shot, like a true B horror, in daylight through a blue filter to make it look like nighttime, they did a great job with the Pumpkinhead creature. This thing was awesome looking, especially for more than 20 years ago. Pumpkinhead is a 10 foot tall skelaton with a tail and wing-like appendages. He also has a dinosaur shaped huge head. In short, if you saw this thing coming at you, you'd probably pee on yourself in hopes he would pass you by.

Pumpkinhead is set in motion by the witch to exact revenge on the cityfolk for Billy Harley's death. If you don't get in Pumpkinhead's way, you're all right. If you do decide to get in his way or attempt to help one of his potential victims--not good times. Bad times. He'll probably kill you in a really cool way, like when he ran the Fonz through with the barrell of the shotgun. Even if it was obviously a rubber prop shotgun, it was still awesome. Everytime Pumpkinhead rubbed someone out, Ed Harley would feel it. In fact, Pumpkinhead started to look like Ed as the film wore on and the killings piled up. Sid is going to give the ending away, so beware. At the end of the film, Ed had no hope of his son being brought back and he wanted the Pumpkinhead reign of terror to stop. So, he instructed one of the female cityfolk kill him after realizing that this will also kill Pumpkinhead. What he wasn't banking on, however, was that he would be burried in place of the old Pumpkinhead. So, this means that he would be the next incarnation of the terrifying creature. Personally, Sid thinks that's pretty cool.

Pumpkinhead was your typical 80's horror flick. It was part creature film rip-off, part Friday the 13th ripoff. In fact, the house that the kids stayed in was the same one used for Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter. Maybe we will review that one at some point. But, meanwhile, Pumpkinhead was a huge winner by our calculations. It had enough real horror elements(awesome creature, people you wanted to get iced getting iced in cool ways, sweet concept) to keep you interested, but enough unintentional comedy(the cityfolk line, the hicks, awful acting, poor quality) to keep you laughing. This one is highly recomended by us, Sid the Elf, it's right up our alley. Pick it up and enjoy, but be careful of those Cityfolk.

Shut up your face

Bend over Mike Vrabel I brought your favorite toy!

This segment goes out to one of the biggest dirtbag players in the NFL, Rodney Harrison. This guy has mounted up so many dirty plays over his career and has the balls to say "theres no place in the game" for the block Rick Williams put on Rodney's boy toy Mike Vrabel. Hey Rodney just give in to the fact that you guys can't win without Brady. You can't blame everyone for the fact that Brady made every player on that team look like a star. The fact that he'd make this comment is what's so hilarious. Can you imagine all the dirty things Harrison and Vrabel have done to each other in the shower while Bill came in with spark plugs and a blown tourch? Please guys just realize you suck without Brady and get ready for the downward spiral to get worse.

Mulberry Street: 3 out of 5 stars

Rat zombies take control of NYC. Sure, why not?, September 22, 2008

For the second year in a row we have been graced with the After Dark Horrofest. Well saying "graced" my be a bit overboard considering almost every film developed under this festival has been a disaster to sub par at best. We love the horror genre and encourage the whole indi film movement but there has to be some substence to what we're watching or why bother? Short on budget doesn't mean it has to suck. All it means is you have to rely less on killer effects and dish up a good story with some realistic chills. Mulbery Street actually succeeds in this way to an extent. Not so much scary but the concept definately has a chill factor. Who wouldn't get scared by being preyed upon by rat zombies in a tenament home?

Our story takes place in a New York City tenament home where 6 seperate residents are dealing with the fact that their complex will be demolished due to an urban renewal. One great aspect of the film is the believability of these characters. It's not a bunch of young kids aimlessly running around getting picked off as in the typical horror flicks of today. It's actual real people living their everyday lives. The main character is a former boxer and his close friend who are awaiting the boxers daughters return from Iraq. Then there are a couple of guys who live on the upper floor, one being an elderly man who needs an oxygen tank to survive, and a single mother and her son. So you start to actually care for the characters instead of routing for them to vanish. As they all go about their day the super is trying to get the water to work in the boiler room. While working he's bitten on the arm by a rat. Within minutes he begins to have strange symptoms. He goes upstairs to rest and starts to see hair growing on his ears.

The more time that goes by the worse he starts getting and it becomes obvious to everyone that something strange is going on. The news continues to report rat attacks throughout the city. Roughly every five minutes new breaking news appears stating the rat attacks are becoming so frequent they must suspend all subway service and want everyone to remain inside. What they don't know is that these rats are passing some strange virus around which are turning the infected into rat like zombie creatures. It's a lot like 28 Days Later but with a different storyline. From here on out you follow each tenant as they work together to save themselves from the rat zombies. It does become intense at times and overall is an enjoyable and creepy film. The use of atmosphere is key in this one. They really did a great job driving home the chills in that way. The camera lighting is very dim and you get a very claustrophobic feeling while inside the cramped apartments.

Overall the film was good with some flaws. But why be so cridical on an independent film. Considering the small budget they did a great job. The focus on atmosphere was awesome and the acting was really good. A couple cool facts about Mulberry Street is how they had to shoot essential footage in the middle of the crowded streets of Manhattan without any official permission to film there, and how all the actors in this film are friends or in some way related to the director, so none of them received any payments. Not bad when you factor all that in. So if you're looking for a great film you won't find it in Mulberry Street. But if you go into it expecting an above average indi flick you will really like it. It's definately worth checking out.


Click here for movie trailer:
http://www.videodetective.com/movies/MULBERRY_STREET/trailer/P00548197.htm

B Clip of the Century: Seagals music Video

This is one of the funniest things you may ever get to see. We have Steven "Panda Bear" Seagal taking up his other career move. Instead of snapping necks and crab legs he is making that sweet baby making music. HILARIOUS! He is as fat as ever and looks like he just walked off the set of To Catch a Predator. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qw5bKTBQE4

Sad News

Earlier this week during our viewing of Pumpkinhead we were informed that our beloved Pathmark was gone forever. This may sound absolutely ridiculous to most people but this hits home a bit to us. It's not the actual store itself that we cared for, it was the memories it held for us. Who could forget times like Death Ring in the $3.99 bin? Santa pretending to put the nickle in for 4 handfuls of candy? And the Fritter that resembled a rabbit? This place was the spot we hit late for the Ramada trips and all our post ball games. It's sad for us but luckily we've got so many other places that hold so many memories and there will be many more to make.

Week 3 NFL Picks

It's week 3 in the National Football League. Sorry, I'm tapped into my inner Chris Berman. Now, these are quick picks because I have to meet Belicheck and some $10 hookers and I still have to stop home for my branding iron.

Kansas City ay Atlanta
Will anyone outside of the players' family watch this one? It has the makings of an awful game. The Falcons are favored by 5 1/2 at home, and I'm going with them since, you know, they have the only win between these teams this year and their coach isn't scouring careerbuilder on the sidelines.

Cleveland at Baltimore
Strange game here because the Ravens had the week off due to Hurricane Ike. I like the Browns here +2 1/2 to avoid going 0-3. They showed a little fight last week against the Steelers and might have been able to do a little better if not for their coach. Why did Romeo decide to kick that field goal down a TD? It's like he was openly going for the cover.

Oakland at Buffalo
I have to assume Buffalo is for real after their wins over Seattle and Jacksonville. The Raiders would be 0-2 if they didn't play the North Pole High Pink Turkey Basters(K.C. Cheifs) last week. I don't know why I like the Raiders for anything except a top-3 pick next April, but I like Buffalo for the win, and Oakland for the cover +9 1/2.

Tampa Bay at Chicago
This is a tough game to call. I can't stand da Bears, but they look like the Good Bears. You know what I mean, they're running the ball well, playing good defense, and getting special teams TD's like that blocked punt last week. When they're playing like that, the QB just has to play within a TD or so of the opponent and not screw up. That sounds like Kyle Orton's resume. Then they have the Bad Bears when they have no running game (Cedric Benson) and their QB is throwing picks left and right(Rex Grossman). They seem to flip-flop like this year to year. On the flip side, the Bucs are very close to being 2-0 even with Jack Daniels Greise at the helm last week. I like them getting the W in Chitown this week.

Dallas at Green Bay
This is a biggie. The Cowboys in Lambeau on Sunday night. The good news is we get to find out if the Pack is a contender. The bad news? I'm deathly afraid to find out they're not by way of a 38-10 whooping from Tony Homo and Co. Hopefully, the Dallas D is as bad as it was Monday Night and the short week, going on the road, with Aaron Rodgers's confidence high from the last two weeks, the Pack can pull this one out. Right? Come on, it's possible. I'm going with the team closest to the North Pole, the Packers.

New Orleans at Denver
Denver is coming off a huge win against the Chargers, even if it was gift wrapped by the zebras and solidified by Grapefruits Shannahan's decision to go for 2 and the win. The Saints lost a heartbreaker to Washington last week. I think the line is a little too high with the Broncos giving 5 1/2. I'll take the Broncos for the win, the Saints for the cover.


Jacksonville at Indianapolis
This looked like an awesome week 3 showdown for AFC South supremesy until both teams stumbled out of the gate. Neither look like the teams we expected before the season, with the exception of the Colts' 4th quarter last week. I see a close game here with the Jags winning to avoid going 0-3.
Carolina at Minnesota

What have the Vikings done to show that they're worthy of being favored, even at home, against a 2-0 team? Is it the QB switch? Is Gus Ferrote going to make this team that much better than Tavaris Jackson? I'm guessing no. It's Gus Ferrote! Carolina wins this one.

Miami at New England
Ok, so I was wrong with both of these teams last week. The Pats looked ok, and the Phins didn't. Still, a 12 1/2 spread seems way too high for this one. I'm going with the Dolphins. Added bonus to this one is the Joey Porter-Rodney Harrison verbal slapping-match should give the game a little added intensity.

Cincinnati at NY Giants
The Bungles are back! It just doesn't seem right when the Bengals are even decent, thankfully we don't have to deal with that this year. The G-men beat up on a weak Rams team last week, and they'll do the same against an equally terrible opponent this week. Giants -13 1/2

Pittsburgh at Philadelphia
This one is actually quite a rivalry, even though they don't play often. The Eagles looked much more impressive in defeat than the Steelers looked in victory last week. But, the Steelers D matches up really well with the Eagles. Don't expect them to hang 37 on Pittsburgh. I like the Steelers in a close, low-scoring game.

Detroit at San Fransisco
Another Toilet Bowl here. Jon Kitna vs. J.T. O'Sullivan has a distinctly NFL Europe feel to it. I like Frank Gore a lot and the Lions are probably disspirited by their failed comeback against the Pack last week. Did I mention the 3 picks Kitna threw in 6 minutes of that one? Doesn't really evoke a lot of confidence in the Lions.

St. Louis at Seattle
Yet another awful game this week. The Rams are terrible and I'm flying out to Seattle in a few hours to start at WR. The Seahawks still put 30 up last week, so I'm taking them -9 1/2.

Houston at Tennessee
It's a sad day when your starting QB goes down and you have to play your back-up, but you're happy because the back-up just used to have a drinking and racial slur problem instead of being fully insane and talking about suicide. Good times with the Titans. So, naturally i like Tennessee giving 5.

Arizona at Washington
Has Arizona impressed with wins over Miami and San Fran? They might win their division with 9 wins, true. But, Washington had a good win last week against the Saints. I like the Skins in a shootout.

NY Jets at San Diego
The Chargers are favored by 9 in this one because no one can imagine them going 0-3. Will they be fired up or deflated by last week's officiating debacle? Santa's Dreamweaver, Brett Favre, has never lost to the Chargers. I actually think the Chargers come out flat Monday Night and drop this one to Santa's Squad, the Jets.

J Picks for Week 3

Kansas City (0-2) @ Atlanta (1-1)

The Chiefs being down 0-2 desperately need a win. Unfortunately I don't see it happening against Atlanta at home. Falcons Win

Oakland (1-1) @ Buffalo (2-0)

This week Oakland go up against the Bills who are on fire. This one won't even be close in Buffalo. Bills Win

Tamba Bay (1-1) @ Chicago (1-1)

This one should be a fun game. We have division rivals both at 1-1 but I like Chicago at home. Bears Win

Houston (0-1) @ Tenn (2-0)

Despite the phsychotic antics of Vince Young the Titans look really good. Houston won't even be a match. Titans Win

Carolina (2-0) @ Minnesota (0-2)

Carolina looks strong while the Vikings are way better then their record shows. This week they get their first win at home. Vikings Win

Miami (0-2) @ New England (2-0)

Pennington has nobody to throw the ball to which means it's going to rely all on the run. Unfortunately against New Englands D that won't get the job done, especially at home. Gayblade Patriots Win

Cincinnati (0-2) @ NY Giants (2-0)

Cincinnati is a complete joke this year. The Giants are going to roll over them at home. Giants Win

Arizona (2-0) @ Washington (1-1)

Arizona looks the best they ever have. Washington looked pretty damn good last week but will fall short against the Cards. Cardinals Win

Detroit (0-2) @ San Fran (1-1)

Looks like the predictions about detroit were completely off. They look so weak but I'm feeling a breakout game this week. It's a big gamble but I say they win in San Fran. Lions Win

St Louis (0-2) @ Seattle (0-2)

What a joke this Game will be. 2 equally b teams but Seattle has an edge at home. Seahawks Win

New Orleans (1-1) @ Denver (2-0)

Denver is too strong for New Orleans this week at home. Broncos Win

Pittsburg (2-0) @ Philadelphia (1-1)

Philadelphia showed us one hell of a game against Dallas. They're going to win big at home against the Steelers. Eagles Win

Jacksonville (0-2) @ Indianapolis (1-1)

I don't know whats goin on with the Colts this week. Peyton looks like it's his first year out there. I think Jacksonville's D will be too strong for Peyton. It's a risky call but Jacksonville Wins.

Cleveland (0-2) @ Baltimore (1-0)

Coming off a bye week the Ravens will be rested and ready to go at home against the overrated Browns. Ravens Win

Dallas (2-0) @ Green Bay (2-0)

This is the game of the week by far. Both teams looks like gold right now sitting at 2-0. This will definately be a preview of things to come in the playoffs. I'm having the same feeling here I did with the Jacsonville/Broncos game of 97. I feel like the natural response is the cowboys but I just don't see it. I think Green Bay is feeling it from their past 2 big wins. I love them and think they've got it at home. Pack Wins

Jets (1-1) @ San Diego (0-2)

Gomer Pile leads his crew of flunkies out to San Diego where they'll get bent over by the Charges. Chargers Win