What else screams B movie like a good old Swayze flick. Oh I'm sorry I wasn't talking about Patrick, I was speaking of non other then very distorted looking version of Patrick also known as Don Swayze. This is yet another film that takes place in the future and proves the future of the movie world has nothing to offer. It seems that the producer figured the future would be dominated by tow truck drivers with Don Swayze being the King of them all. If you are a fan of Don or have never heard of him (odds are you fall into option b) then please click on the link. Yes the trailer with leave you slightly dumber but it's well worth the laugh.
http://www.videodetective.com/titledetails.aspx?publishedid=3498
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
You remember these...Beavis and Butthead
Growing up one of Sids favorite shows was the unforgettable Beavis and Butthead. I am sure if you are reading this you also were a huge fan, as well you should be. There are no complex laughs here folks, this is pure brainless enjoyment. It was and still is the type of show that you can pop on at any moment and be upset when the ending credits came up. Even if Cow Tipping was replayed 3 times within the span of 4 hours Sid still followed through like a true champion never clicking it off for a lesser show. Here are a few clips of pure brain candy for your viewing pleasure.
http://www.videodetective.com/movies/BEAVIS_AND_BUTTHEAD_VOLUME_1:_THE_MIKE_JUDGE_COLLECTION/trailer/P00684889.htm
http://www.videodetective.com/movies/BEAVIS_AND_BUTTHEAD_VOLUME_2:_THE_MIKE_JUDGE_COLLECTION/trailer/P00106690.htm
http://www.videodetective.com/movies/BEAVIS_AND_BUTTHEAD_VOLUME_3:_THE_MIKE_JUDGE_COLLECTION/trailer/P00769631.htm
KINDERGARTEN COP: 4.0 out of 5 stars
When Arnold is a kindergarten teacher kids will be illiterate but at least they'll have ripped muscle mass,
Good morning how are you? This is us, Sid the Elf. How are you? First, we would just like to review this documentary about a time in Arnold Schwarzenegger's life when he decided to be an undercover cop and a kindergarten teacher at the same time. Thus, the documentary is entitled Kindergarten Cop. This film gives us some possible insight as to why Arnold can barley speak. Not once during the film did he teach his students academics. Instead, he focused on sit-ups, proper technique for lat pull-downs, and his ferret(which came out like fuerrett when Arnold said it).
This man is amazing. In the 70's he allowed filmmakers to document his life as a 5-time Mr. Olympia, the title given to the world's foremost consumer of grilled chicken. Then, in 1990, he let us back into his life as we see his softer side while he saves a young boy and his mother from a very dangerous Steven Segal lookalike. Arnold goes undercover in a small Oregon town to find the son and ex-wife of the villain and his mother who is also a villain. Strange subplot here. Anyway, Arnold finally finds out who the mother and ex are and actually falls in love with the ex-wife. One of the biggest shocks of the movie comes at the end, when someone unexpected saves the day. Anyway, back to Arnold. He is now governor of the great state of Cali-fornia. Amazing! The reason Sid loves Arnold so much is because there are a number of soundboards dedicated to him and Kindergarten Cop features a whopping 28 soundboard lines that make this unintentional comedy comedy hilarious. That's the best part of the movie, picking out soundboard lines.
So, if someone tells you Kindergarten Cop is a bad movie, say "No it is not true. It got Sid the Elf's seal of approval."
This man is amazing. In the 70's he allowed filmmakers to document his life as a 5-time Mr. Olympia, the title given to the world's foremost consumer of grilled chicken. Then, in 1990, he let us back into his life as we see his softer side while he saves a young boy and his mother from a very dangerous Steven Segal lookalike. Arnold goes undercover in a small Oregon town to find the son and ex-wife of the villain and his mother who is also a villain. Strange subplot here. Anyway, Arnold finally finds out who the mother and ex are and actually falls in love with the ex-wife. One of the biggest shocks of the movie comes at the end, when someone unexpected saves the day. Anyway, back to Arnold. He is now governor of the great state of Cali-fornia. Amazing! The reason Sid loves Arnold so much is because there are a number of soundboards dedicated to him and Kindergarten Cop features a whopping 28 soundboard lines that make this unintentional comedy comedy hilarious. That's the best part of the movie, picking out soundboard lines.
So, if someone tells you Kindergarten Cop is a bad movie, say "No it is not true. It got Sid the Elf's seal of approval."
Click here for movie trailer (DO IT NOW!):
LEPRECHAUN 2: 3.0 out of 5 stars
Jack Klompus and Clint Howard dish up 3 pots of gold,
Oh boy! Whenever Sid gets a chance to review a movie with a fellow elf in it, he's all over it. In Leprechaun 2, Clint Howard gives the flick instant Unintentional Comedy status, and Jack Klompus from Seinfeld carries the ball the rest of the way to North Pole paydirt. The leprechaun was terrifying to all the tall people in the movie. He used his superior mind powers to snag a hot piece Sid the Elf style, baby. Of course, he had to rack up a few bodies along the way to getting his hot bride, but it was all worth it in the end when he asked her, "remember what a bad little girl you've been?" Yes, I let him have that line. The elves must stick together.
Now, as far as the other characters in the movie go, they were as goofy as you want in an early-90's Unintentional Comedy. They all provided Sid great joy when he thought the leprachaun was going to get them. But, Hollywood is so biased when it comes to elves, so I felt for the leprechaun when he was having difficulties. Two highlights to this movie: the Irish Elf jumping out of an Irish stocking, and an exploding elf. So, if you love elves and decent Unintentional Comedy horror, Sid says, Leprechaun 2 is for you!
Click here for movie trailer:
OUT FOR JUSTICE 5.0 out of 5 stars
Sorry Sly, the new Italian Stallion is Gino Felino,
Just to keep all our fans up to date, we, Sid the Elf, have decided that to degrade these movies with a label such as "B movies" is wrong. Therefore, henceforth the movies formerly lumped into the B genre will be known as "Unintentional Comedy." Anyway, Sid the Elf can hardly believe what a terrific masterpiece he has just seen. Out For Justice stars the immortal pony-tailed warrior, Steven Segal playing a total guido Gino Felino. Yes, the main character's name rhymes. Also making apperances are Gina Gershon, Juliana Margulis, Uncle Junior, and the one and only First Base. The First Base sighting made Sid fall in love with this movie. And as youse all know, Sid always does his research, so we found out that John Flynn directed this flick (yes, the John Flynn, as in the same John Flynn who directed Lockup) which quelled our suspicion that Rog moonlighted as an Unintentional Comedy director in his younger days. It was a logical guess though, with Segal spouting a "Maddon'" every few seconds.
So, this was a Segal movie. Which of course means that he plays a rouge cop who doesn't follow one law the entire movie, and actually wants to murder the bad guy. Whith that said, Segal does such a great job in this movie, those small oversights are so easy to forgive. Sid has a theory on this one: Segal studied every bad mob movie ever made and imitated the stupidest goomba in every one. We can't get across how entertaining it was to watch Segal try to be his usual tough self, speak with a Brooklyn accent, and try to sprinkle a few Italian words in every few minutes.
Out For Justice was a supperior Unintentional Comedy flick. The second First Base appeared on the screen it was sealed. WOO-PAH! So it definitely gets the Sid the Elf Seal of Approval. Ya hear?
Click here for movie trailer:
THE DEATA FORCE: 3.0 out of 5 stars
The only way Chuck gets only 3 stars is when he's weighed down by a mutant mullet and Lee Marvin's eyebrows, September 10, 2007
How is it possible that a movie as promising as Delta Force gets only three stars from Sid the Elf? All the elements were there. On the cover, you have the stars of the show(Chuck Norris and Lee Marvin with special appearances by Chuck's uber-mullet and Lee's eyebrows that looked like wings in case his head decided to fly away) holding bazookas, undoubtedly poised to blow some terrorists to bits. Unfortunately, that's about as good as it got. The plot followed no logic and we, Sid the Elf, have no respect for those who have no respect for logic. The first explosions after the opening credits happened about an hour into the film. If it's Sid, he says that move doesn't have it. Nobody is watching a movie staring Chuck Norris and Lee Marvin to see an enthralling plot and good acting. We want to see 128 minutes of non-stop explosions, cool guns, people being thrown off stuff, neck-snappings, and roundhouse kicks out the thing. It's a real easy formula. Whoever made Delta Force 2 had the recipe. Delta Force was just lacking. It pains us, Sid the Elf-because we love Chuck and think he's as much of a one man wrecking crew as the next reviewer-to say NO DEAL to Delta Force.
Click here for movie trailer:
PREDATOR: 5.0 out of 5 stars
There's only one man who can take on Predator: The Governator, September 7, 2007
We, Sid the Elf, wanted a real nice B to kick the weekend off perfectly, so we picked up Predator. Well, Sid was stunned. Predator was a perfectly done action flick. Don't take us wrong, anytime Arnold is teamed with Jesse the body Ventura, Apollo Creed, and the immortal Chink Webber from Lockup the B will be flowing like wine. There was an ample amount of explosions, totally awesome guns, and the toughest lines around.(We're not even going to mention anymore that anytime Arnold talks the possibility for hilarity is there) With that said, Predator was the perfect guy movie, the only thing that was missing was smokin hot chicks. But, we found ourselves saying no less than 10 times during the screening, "This movie is killer!" or something comparable.
Arnold plays Dutch, a CIA operative who has the rep of being the baddest of the bad. Dutch and his team, all of whom are extremely close to one another, are sent into the jungles of Central America to find a missing group of soldiers. The guy responsible for bringing them in? That's right, Apollo Creed. Or, Dillon! Him and Arnold go way back, and appear to be tight as we see in the famous "Whasa matta? FBI's made you gone soft?" scene. When they get to the jungle, things are definitely strange. Dillon and Arnold's team are not gelling, and there is a strange presence in the air. That would be Predator, who is responsible for the missing soldiers. Sid is going to go out on a limb and say Predator might be the coolest villain in action movie history. He is a man-eating robot alien with an almost imperceptible cloaking device. Almost. Arnold and the team, with the help of the sweetest gun in action movie history, figure out how to track Predator. But, before they can do any damage to him, the Predator picks off everyone but Arnold, including the legendary Chink Webber. It got dusty in the North Pole when Predator finally got Chink. You knew the whole time that it was going to come down to Arnold vs. Predator. Arnold figures out a way to protect himself from Predator's tracking capabilities, levels the playing field, and takes him on. Sid won't spoil the ending, but it's awesome.
So, Sid would have to say, if you're looking for a B action to laugh at stay away from Predator. However, if you want to get totally pumped and watch an all-time killer action flick, Predator is your Vehicle baby. And if you haven't seen Predator yet, Sid doesn't know what to tell you. Actually, yeah he does. Get a copy ASAP.
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